Writing Exercise: Repaired Maid and Butler Dialogue

This week's homework in the EASL writer's circle was to compose a section of "maid and butler" dialogue -- an exposition dump between two characters -- and then rewrite it as if the conversation had already happened and now the characters are arguing about it. I decided to apply this exercise to two characters that are significant to the Wayside story: Ash and Elm, my villains.

The dialogue I came up with is so riddled with spoilers for my novel that I'm not going to post it, but the end result, the rewrite as an argument, turned out pretty interesting and doesn't reveal a whole lot of crucial plot points so I thought I'd post it here. Even though I like this interchange between my bad-guys, chances are this section will not find its way into the manuscript, since it is not from one of my narrators' perspectives.

En garde!

Elm hurried down through the corridor ahead of her companion. She held aloft a gas lamp, but it was more habit than necessity as she recalled every rock and crack that might impede their progress.

“Make haste, my dear,” she called back. “Faelen has proven unreliable of late.”

“Serenity, darling,” said Ash from behind her. “Should we not relish our time apart from the council?”

Elm stopped, giving her colleague a chance to catch her, but drummed her fingers on the lamp as she did so. “Emere or no, if he *is* the one, I do not wish to miss our opportunity because we took our time in retrieving him,” she said, turning to proceed.

Ash grabbed her from behind and pulled her close. She smirked despite her impatience and he kissed her forehead. “The boy is a hatchling,” he whispered. “He will not have stopped chirping long enough to see his own cage.”

She smiled but pushed him away. “And if he and his brother reunion? What then?”

“Then they may share a cage,” he said, puffing up in indignation. Their pace quickened regardless and their steps echoed on the stone floor. Ash sniffed; the smell of waste and water was rising in the passage. “I sent Vermin ahead to inform the seer of our arrival.”

“Seer,” said Elm. “How grand! Were his sight any dimmer we’d both be wandering the desert for caravans in the hopes of stumbling over prophecy in the dust.”

“Perhaps,” Ash replied.

He raised his lantern as they reached an opening in the corridor and stood to the side, waiting for Elm to pass. He bowed as she did so, his hand brushing the floor as he placed it over his breast.

"Yes," Elm lifted her lover’s face to meet her own. “and we have made good time, despite your languor.”